Babies are a joy!

The joys of being a grandmother

My grandson is seven months old now, and he brings so much happiness into my life.  He is a ray of sunshine, just like his mom.

 The baby loves to flash a smile at me, and I bath in his sunshine.  He chatters constantly.  I love to repeat the sounds he makes back to him.  My grandson is definitely going to grow up to be some sort of communicator.  LOL

He seems to want to bypass crawling altogether.  He’s been taking little steps since he was four months old.  Now he’s dangerous in a walker, zooming from one room to the next.  He’s always on the go.

This little one has huge expressive eyes to go with his smile.  He also has a set of dimples.  Females from ages 2 to 92 are smitten with him.

One day my grandson will be old enough to date.  I’ll take great glee in watching my daughter as she handles the female attention her son will receive.  Somehow, I don’t think she’s going to be too kind to prospective girlfriends.  It will be fun to see what happens.

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August 21, 2006. Family, Life, Personal. 4 comments.

Standing by a friend

When there are no words

 Tomorrow a dear friend will bury her only child, a son.  Jon was 28 when he died in an accident last week. 

 When I got the news of  Jon’s death, my hands immediately went to my face.  I then got a severe headache.

My friend, Mary, just recently underwent her second operation in the past 18 months.  She quit her job.  She had never been sick before.  I’ve been quite concerned about her.  Mary is a very private person, so I don’t know the nature of her illness.  I just know that I wished I could do something to offer her comfort.  Even through her illness, she is a ray of sunshine.  But you can see in her eyes that she is not well.

When I learned that Jon had been killed, it was like a knife went through my heart.  I was numb.  Later, I cried for my friend.

When you lose anyone close, you must, of course move on.  When you lose a child, however, you never totally get over it.  I know.  My own son, my oldest, died in an auto accident 11 years ago.  I never got to say good-bye. 

Hopefully, Mary will allow herself to grieve.  Hopefully, there will be some things I can do to support her in the days after the funeral, when everyone goes back to their routines.  Perhaps Mary will want me to just sit with her in silence.  Or maybe she’ll want to recall her warmest memories of Jon.

I didn’t grieve for my son for five years.  I was busy trying to be strong for everyone else.  I even insisted on identifying the body because even though I come from a family of mostly males, I knew the men couldn’t handle it.   So I did it myself.

I went back to work the next day after the funeral.  I couldn’t stand the quietness of the house.  I had sent my other children to school so that they could be around their friends.

You tread into perilous territory if you delay the grieving process as I did.  Five years after my own son’s death, one night as I was driving home from work, I just burst into tears.  I couldn’t stop crying.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me.  After the crying continued for several days, I went to see my doctor. 

She said, “I have been waiting for this.  It’s taken you all this time to finally start grieving for Raymond.”  ( Raymond was my son’s name.)

I didn’t know it at the time, but the lights went out for me when my son died.  I went through the motions of getting on with my life.  I buried any feelings I had of grief.  I really had myself fooled.

Tomorrow I will attend Jon’s funeral.  Afterwards, I will compile a notebook of prayers and scriptures to give to my friend Mary.  She may read them right away.  She may not.  But one day those prayers and scriptures will sustain her.

August 21, 2006. Friends/Family, Life, Personal. 4 comments.